Heart Vs Mind!
Its 3am in the morning and I have just started writing this. Today, I went to the Calcutta city (note that our campus is on the outskirts) for a field project of one of our courses namely "Behavioural Sciences". We went to TIME institute, MBA coaching centre, to interview its Director and gave him a questionnaire to fill it and give it back to us. Came back in the evening and missed the Adventure Club 5km run. Anyways, am saying as if I lost a great opportunity. Even if I would have participated, I probably could not have completed the distance though I my friends told me that its all in the mind and that distance can be covered easily if one has the will power. And then there were a slew of club interviews. Interviews for Team Intaglio, organising committee of our b-school fest which is one of the most reputed in Asia! Then for Carpediem, our annual cultural fest. Yesterday I had an intv to join the Alumni Cell. There are interviews and then there are more interviews. Some have one round while some have 2. Gosh! does life have to be so competitive always?
Well, I suppose I have digressed from the issue I wanted to write on. One of my friend/batch mate is leaving for his home tomorrow. He initially plans to take a week's leave and then probably off for an year and if he doesn't get back to his normal, chuck the admission! Hez gonna leave an institute for which he has strived for so many months and which if one could have sold would have fetched lakhs of rupees!! But well, he aint a fool to come to such a decision. I had only seen in movies how people get affected by depression. Here was a live case.
This guy suffers from depression. Strange thoughts enter his mind. He was speaking to me today about how he felt. He had become a good friend of mine. Dont think that such guys are nerds and have dazed faces. He is smart and mind u an IITian. Even when he was in IIT, he used to suffer from depression but since he made many andhra friends and was always in a group, it somewhat alleviated him from his worried. Yeah, coming back to what he was telling me today. He always feels that he is inferior to others. Whenever he talks to someone, a big thought is going on in his mind as to what image the other person is creating about him. He feels that the other person is studying a lot while he is wasting away his time. He thinks a lot or infact I should say that thoughts come into his mind without any permission. Some days back, he was worried that our mid-term exams are approaching and so decides to study. But his comp is not working and he cant download some study material. So a technician comes to upgrade the comp but it aint working. He is feeling pissed off and even felt like banging that person. During those moments he felt he was wasting a lot of time and others were reading away to glory! The technician leaves unable to fructify his efforts and leaving this guy in deep shit! Then these "thoughts" start attacking his mind. Mind u, he always has thoughts running in his mind but that at this moment they started taking over him. Until a person can control his thoughts, he is safe but when the reverse starts to happen, it eats the brain. He started thinking if he could cut himself into pieces, how his body would feel!! He wanted to know how his body would react to immense pain but luckily he did not do any crazy act.
Anyways, today he was saying that he joined IIM because that seemed to be the only logical thing to do so. Many of his friends wrote CAT, so he too wrote. Now he feels that this was not what he wanted. He has some other ideas which he says might be successful and which at the end of the day gives him satisfaction. He wants to get out of the web of thoughts being created in his mind endlessly. Some kind of spider seems to have entered his brain and has turned hyperactive! Anyways, after a lot of thinking, he decided yesterday to call it quits. He plans to go back for a week and then an year and then if his idea succeeds, never ever look back to this part of the world!
Well, I have missed writing many things what he was telling me. This is partly because by the time I have ended writing this, its already 3.32am and am going for a nice sleep while at some other room in the same campus, a person whose mind has being engulfed by unnecessary and stypid thoughts is rolling on his bed trying to get some good sleep.
Its GOD who has created all these disparities and I am sure he will take good care of them.
Note: My brother suggested me to change the earlier title "Am I satisfied" and so did I.
Well, I suppose I have digressed from the issue I wanted to write on. One of my friend/batch mate is leaving for his home tomorrow. He initially plans to take a week's leave and then probably off for an year and if he doesn't get back to his normal, chuck the admission! Hez gonna leave an institute for which he has strived for so many months and which if one could have sold would have fetched lakhs of rupees!! But well, he aint a fool to come to such a decision. I had only seen in movies how people get affected by depression. Here was a live case.
This guy suffers from depression. Strange thoughts enter his mind. He was speaking to me today about how he felt. He had become a good friend of mine. Dont think that such guys are nerds and have dazed faces. He is smart and mind u an IITian. Even when he was in IIT, he used to suffer from depression but since he made many andhra friends and was always in a group, it somewhat alleviated him from his worried. Yeah, coming back to what he was telling me today. He always feels that he is inferior to others. Whenever he talks to someone, a big thought is going on in his mind as to what image the other person is creating about him. He feels that the other person is studying a lot while he is wasting away his time. He thinks a lot or infact I should say that thoughts come into his mind without any permission. Some days back, he was worried that our mid-term exams are approaching and so decides to study. But his comp is not working and he cant download some study material. So a technician comes to upgrade the comp but it aint working. He is feeling pissed off and even felt like banging that person. During those moments he felt he was wasting a lot of time and others were reading away to glory! The technician leaves unable to fructify his efforts and leaving this guy in deep shit! Then these "thoughts" start attacking his mind. Mind u, he always has thoughts running in his mind but that at this moment they started taking over him. Until a person can control his thoughts, he is safe but when the reverse starts to happen, it eats the brain. He started thinking if he could cut himself into pieces, how his body would feel!! He wanted to know how his body would react to immense pain but luckily he did not do any crazy act.
Anyways, today he was saying that he joined IIM because that seemed to be the only logical thing to do so. Many of his friends wrote CAT, so he too wrote. Now he feels that this was not what he wanted. He has some other ideas which he says might be successful and which at the end of the day gives him satisfaction. He wants to get out of the web of thoughts being created in his mind endlessly. Some kind of spider seems to have entered his brain and has turned hyperactive! Anyways, after a lot of thinking, he decided yesterday to call it quits. He plans to go back for a week and then an year and then if his idea succeeds, never ever look back to this part of the world!
Well, I have missed writing many things what he was telling me. This is partly because by the time I have ended writing this, its already 3.32am and am going for a nice sleep while at some other room in the same campus, a person whose mind has being engulfed by unnecessary and stypid thoughts is rolling on his bed trying to get some good sleep.
Its GOD who has created all these disparities and I am sure he will take good care of them.
Note: My brother suggested me to change the earlier title "Am I satisfied" and so did I.
posted by Rajesh @ 2:33 PM
3 Comments:
At 1:31 PM, July 29, 2005,
Anonymous said…
The title of this write-up should have been Follow the heart or follow the mind? That is the Question.
At 5:00 PM, July 30, 2005,
Anonymous said…
I've been through exactly the kind of phase which your IIT friend went through; was after a breakdown i suffered when i got 80 in an exam in which i wanted 100. It initiated a vicious cycle of phobias and behavioral disorders, which lasted for years together. Over-anxiousness related to studies, performance, grades can be bad. The best solution probably lies in that prescribed by the Bhagvat Gita - 'karmanye vaadhikaaraste, maa faleshu kada chana..' (your responsibility is to do your duty..don't think about the fruits)
At 7:19 PM, July 31, 2005,
Anonymous said…
There is absolutely no question on what gita preaches but there is a lot more depth to what it conveys. One cannot simply escape the bad results by attributing it to a philosophical reasoning. It definitely serves a good purpose of convincing oneself to sustain failure emotionally. It is very important that one clearly understands what 'Responsibility of doing duty really means".
It means
1. Duty before everything else
2. Doing duty always with more uprightness of intention, more exactitude, more punctuality.
3. Duty with passion and a mission to accomplish.
4. Be like those little industrious bees, bringing nothing into their hive but honey.
So when you do your duty with absolute and pure diligence, i can bet you dont need to think about the results because they are bound to be successful.
Be aware the Bhagwad Gita was assimilated by Arjuna, an extremely wise, highly accomplished, and infinitely intelligent yet confused human being. His confusions were absolutely valid and none other than divine intervention could have brought him out of it. And he was lucky to have the Lord himself give a private tuition :-)
We are all not that fortunate though but we could still try to attempt a proper interpretation of the holy scripture and make our lives lot better.
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